When I was down, with affliction so precise and unique, it was a pain that hurt more than walking against the storms of addiction. I had forgotten what that could feel like and I am thankful for that. What I did not know was I could be there again, even if it was not me that that storm came upon.
I forgot the pain that my heart could feel, the devastation so complete. Rewriting everything is something I never could imagine, but here I am in a lonely room, looking at an empty wall and seeing all the things I didn't do.
I could never imagine my world without you in it. Throughout the winds, the rain, and darkness we had each other's hands. We spoke with one voice and loved with one heart, and I don't understand how they can be so separate.
When you pulled away I heard the music play and somehow I knew what the words were before I heard them. It was everything I had feared and even worse and I keep hoping I am being dramatic.
It takes me back to a Friday night dream so many years ago. I saw a flash of what I wanted and knew it just could never be. I hurt with the pain of a person who had to climb onto a spaceship and never see the earth again. The world was gone and adapting to that would be a deception that I could never buy.
Every moment of every day, I rewrite our past in my mind. I know it cannot change anything, but I cannot help it, I have to do something. The richness you gave me is unimaginable and it will take forever to understand, and maybe even longer than that.
In these days, I stand on the bridge. The leaves fall and I know the winter is coming. I bravely stand at my side of the bridge, honoring the person that you are - the person I know you are. It is everything. It is absolutely everything. Now I have nothing to focus on except myself, the person I need to get to know. Of all of the things that you have given me, will this be the greatest gift? I don't know, because it is everything.
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