Tangled heart

 I saw them.

 Intertwined like as a single person. 

Saying words that the rest of us cannot know.

 Minds, thinking the same thoughts,  hearts, beating in harmony.

In darkness, they sustained each other, stealing most of the life within them.

Their homeland is a parasitic existence.

A woven strength kept them in love, chaos, and emulsion.

Below the surface, the strength that sustained them could not be defined and was likely more messy than it appeared.

Photo by Angel Luciano on Unsplash

What they built felt timeless and we rejoiced to a fault.

The walls were indestructible.

The ground was firm and without doubt.

Alone was something they could never know.

No matter how dark the room was, they always saw each other in the light.

It was something we came to know as the mountain that sits outside my north window.

I never dreamed it could cease to exist.

I know nothing because I never thought I could be injured in a great train wreck when I was not even there.

It is our connection. It is real and one many cannot achieve.

That is something you never throw away.

That is something you hold.

I never knew those walls could crumble like they were just paper and ash.

I worry that the ground was soft all along, but I cannot be sure of anything these days.

dreamed - farm

dreamed - arms

dreams - wrong

never - dreamed - hurt

never - dreamed - lose

dreams - I'm - strong

now - creek - rising

my - bridges - burned

dreamed - crowds

smoke - clouds

dreams - don't last

have - suspicions

position - stars

all - revealed

know - then

stars - surrender

snow - falling

fences - torn

need - someone

hear - someone

song - somewhere

dreamed - walking

two - talking

life's mystery

words - flow - friends

winding - streams

wanted - see - you

seem - surprising

find - yourself - alone

dark - rising

new - moon - born

always - dreamed - love

never- dreamed - lose

I always thought I would have you in my life. My heart rewrote our history and I was standing near you as you opened your eyes for the first time. I fell in love with you in that alternate universe and love knew no barriers. That is why I stand here today feeling so much loss.

I just want you to know that we are good. Finding you does not have to be for nothing. Perhaps this is always where we were going, I don't know. I have to stop thinking that one story has anything to do with the other. But when you love someone like they are your own daughter, you cannot help but feel all of the pain that rolls in.

I wish I knew what was ahead. November is an awful month and as a precursor to the days ahead, words have spilled out over the fire leaving us to salvage fragments with our tears.

I know I always knew you, and I hope you know you too. You are someone I believe in, someone I can trust. I wish you knew how amazing you really are.