Popcorn?

 It is not fair, to never know who you are until it's too late. Yes, it is ironic. Living like no one else so that later you can live like no one else definitely has its benefits. I also wonder if it makes me hold back. 

Photo by Pylz Works on Unsplash

I am sick of riding the runaway train I have been on for decades. I have bragged about my lack of planning, gliding on my extreme spontaneity, and my reckless behavior when it comes to planning or lack thereof, but it does take its toll.

I have to wonder though, does the pursuit of order and peace sabotage the greatest thing I could ever do? Are peace and order worth not taking chances? 

There indeed are desperados under the eaves my friend. Identifying all of them is nearly impossible. I know the answer lies between the risk and the momentum, to do nothing is foolish. So I will take the steps in which I know that the vacuum can pull me into the whirlwind. There is no other way. It's time.

So there I was, geared up ready for the charge. It was going to happen. I sent intelligence reports back confirming that my mission was a go. Then, nothing happened. Why?  Obviously, this is more than just popcorn, it is a tsunami and I think I know that. 

The mission was scrubbed because of three things: a supply oversight, a lack of adherence to the schedule, and a barrier of perception. That last one was enough to not carry on but in my retreat, I wonder if those points did not exist, would I have stepped off the sidewalk. I really don't know the answer to that.

That second desparado under the eave is the most dangerous.  I have not given up, I am just regrouping. The dealer knows that the rest of the players think they know what I am holding for cards, but they have no idea. Someone asked me, "What would you do if you were not afraid?" The answer is coming, I am laying down my cards, face up. They will know the answer.