I almost fell for it. The storm of time had pounded the resolve that I grasped like a sunken post during a tornado. I was happy with my determination to hold on. What I did not count on is the cunning deception that whispers about the miles walked, the struggles fought, and watching the surroundings rust around me. They were used like chess pieces slowly moving into position to prepare for the strike. I was the one with my hand on the handle of the airlock. It was then something went off inside my brain, shaking me into what was really happening.
It was the pain that woke me. The very thing that has pursued me for two decades saves me from surrendering to my greatest adversary, time. The irony knocks me back a few steps, but then I remember all those times declaring that my pain was my trophy. I call that my "put up or shut up moment."
I never surrendered to the modern-day cookie-cutter, reactionary life in the way that seems to the masses like the only way. No, as it rained swords from the sky, I have figured out how to not buy the garbage they promote and deflect, redirect, and eliminate those missiles from dealing their pugnacious dominance. What did I have on my side? It was my hunger to know every possibility, not to mention the endless row of towers that sweet sound can be heard from a hundred thousand windows.
The key was to never look outside. I indeed heard the news today, oh boy, and it wasn't good. Then again, it never is, is it? Why look? They only want to tell you what to think, how to feel, and who you are. I know better. I do this at my pace, my way. I will be the one to decide where in the game I really am. Period.
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