Sometimes I forget what I have. The clock spins and the calendar pages turn yellow, and I climb aboard that bully expecting a return on investment, only to realize I did not invest. Therein lies the deception. There are letters and there are words; they are the same, yet they can never truly be the same.
I see all the good around me that has been there all along, and it makes me angry because for all the times I couldn't see it or had taken it for granted, I suddenly realize it must have taken a great deal of effort to make that happen. I do not wish to have someone tampering with my perceptions, with such precision.
When my footing has slipped on the spiral staircase and I am losing my balance, I want to climb out of my own head because there are no solutions. Even then, it can be hard to identify that I have taken on the task of my own understanding.
The human tendency to repeat former mistakes can be maddening. But as I swing back to the other side of the gorge on the rope, I notice it is a bit higher each time. A terrible way to assimilate wisdom, if you ask me, but progress nonetheless.
When there is light, I see what I am responsible for. It is a rock climb, of which I must pay attention to every hold, step, and change. Reflecting on what I am taking in as I assess my course up the mountain, I must align my thinking with the success of my climb.
In essence, I am leaving the parts of myself behind below. They are not to be missed. They represent my doubts, procrastination, and lack of determination. They mean nothing, and they have only held me back. It is only in taking these climbing steps that I can shed those who never wanted me to aspire to anything else.
I am good, and only if I am climbing, and wanting to know more, to give more and to be more.
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