Crossroads

 58 is a number in which many timelines of my life have merged.  I have gotten to see how foundations I have laid have done and will do far into the future, or at least I like to think so based on trajectory. These are not just mere reflections and recollections.  If you the reader have visited often you know I do that.  No, I am talking about full-blown algebraic epiphanies that finally provide answers to my life which I have previously described as random particles spinning through the void.

The very first takeaway is that I am extremely fortunate in all ways imaginable.  All of the knowledge and skills I have amassed over the years used to sit in this pile in the giant hangar bay of my existence. Yeah, I could access that in my typical reactionary way if needed and it kept the vehicle moving down the road. Today somehow, many of the pieces are fitting together like a puzzle that suddenly makes progress towards its goal.

Recently there have been friends who have seen insurmountable losses. It is a reminder that although time says it has rules, many of them seemingly unfair, sometimes it still does not play by them. I know in my heart this can only mean that accountability is not something that we will do tomorrow.  It also demands that we be here now because in that book, there is no tomorrow.

I feel tall and strong in the wake of the formation of the eclectic melting pot of my existence and yet I feel weak and small. To see where it was all headed is truly humbling and paralyzing. I slowly began to wonder if I was right about the undercurrent that pursued me in the fourth dimension over 40 years ago.  To have the curvature of the million-mile beach stretched out straight so I can see that million-mile expanse.  The counter point which is so far away and yet reached me a century ago just might be me. Time, my pursuer, yielded for a moment, giving me a linear view.

Let there be no misunderstanding.  I know the OP-4.  I know I do not win, but the opportunity provided is an opportunity nonetheless. The greatest triumph in the battle is to be here now. Nothing else matters. It is what I do right now. 

Photo by Malcolm Lightbody on Unsplash