She longed for what she did not have,
So she said she would get better.
But then they asked about her hero, the most important person in her life,
That was off-limits, which meant getting better was off-limits.
It was her mom who committed a crime too great to count.
But now today, she picks up her mother's sword and continues damaging herself.
When the light lit the landscape, everything was already there.
How could she know what was normal and what was not?
If she could just win this one contest,
she could buy her mom's approval.
Make mom happy.
Nothing else exists in the universe.
The damage done reaches far beyond the life of the one causing it.
Her mom saw this as care and direction.
It made her feel absolutely alone in her shame that she did not cause.
How could someone be gone and have this much control?
She second-guesses every outward thing she is about to do,
She clings to her darkness because it is the only thing that defines her.
Legacies come in many colors.
It is a mess to walk among the living and yet be dead inside.
The strings extend far away into a dusty past and are pulled by a person no longer alive.
She will take arms and fight against anyone who challenges this.
She has no idea why.
And all those people living in ivory and chrome,
they see what you have, never knowing what it is really like to be you.
If they could, it would tear out their hearts and rewrite their entire reality.
Fall, fall, fall like you must in your little fairy tale world.
Everything she ever knew was wrong.
It was never wrong to her.
It was not supposed to be her who carried everyone around her, but she did.
She was born, trained, and coached to understand that it was all hers to carry.
She was their beast of burden, never knowing anything else.
Raised on scars and not lessons.
How do you undo years of psychological manipulation?
Living for someone else. A childhood stolen.
How do you give back all that was rightfully hers?
In death, her mom escaped accountability.
No price can reconcile the losses.
Where is the hope?
It is her story that just maybe will prevent others from following her tragic life.
In that comes the light.
In that she finds her strength.
Lead with your weakness,
And you will prove yourself stronger than you will ever know.
***
He knew nothing but his life west of the tracks.
Her stern judgment and brazen violation became a part of him.
Ordered to get out, then demanded to say where he'd been.
Irony, paradox, and hypocritical judgment were just another day.
Day after day, he bounced with the rhythm.
He was indifferent outside, and others labelled him.
He would poison their lives, their home, their everything just by inviting him in.
So he lay quarantined to the streets, where the rest of us could keep him out.
Compared to her, he seemed pretty innocent.
But the parents around would take no chances.
Just like his mother would do,
They would put him out if they found him inside.
He was inconsequential, so he could find a new life.
As the new day dawned, and hope on the horizon,
A girl who could love him and show him what is real.
There could be hope, there could be growth, there could be an everyday life.
He turned around and screamed for his captor to save him now.
Help me, Mother!
***
"Mother, do you think they'll like this song?"
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