It's hard to define. I am not sure why. When you find the person you are meant to be with, it is just as much about you as it is about them. That is confusing to me.
It is also easy to forget when day-to-day anxieties start tapping on the glass, drown out the sound in the room, and then fight for dominance. I don't want to forget. I know what we have, and I know it is the best thing ever.
We are just babies at 36, no matter what the world tells us. We will always be 15, but at 36, we're still young enough to think we will never get older. That is natural.
25 years ago, I had all of the ingredients of who I am; there is no mistaking that. But when I saw you, a universe was born, and I had no idea what it meant. I just knew it was all I wanted, even though I couldn't comprehend life's depth or the complexity we could become.
One Saturday afternoon, a picnic and a walk answered all the questions that hours of talking couldn't. Like an eternal summer day, roaming the land with your childhood best friend, an adventure that never stopped. Conversations as perfect as childhood itself. There was no place I would rather be.
The whole world was going crazy back then. The sky was falling as we planned our life together. We moved through the burning scene, finding a path to a home we could not yet imagine. We couldn't wait for it to be here, and it seemed like it would take forever.
I noticed how you could take an interest I already had and help it blossom and grow strong. I thought it was just you. I now know that it is the effect of us, being one, inspiring and creating a space where we each thrive and grow in our own ways.
In one day, our life together began, and I will never forget the feeling of balance and discovery. Still like children, we ran through the woods together and planned all the creative things we wanted to do. Then came the boys. They changed my life forever, just like you did. I clearly had no idea what life was until I became complete with you.
Everything inside me found its way into the light where it could grow. It was all because of you, because that is what we have been for each other. We found the people we were, trapped and unable to figure it out. We each found the things that belong only to us, but that being together made it possible.
It will take more than eternity to understand all of the reasons why we make each other grow into the people we were meant to be, and that is alright with me. The most important thing for me is knowing this is rare and true. 25 years ago, we found something so elusive and obscure.
I cannot believe it has been this long. It is absolutely work; there is no denying this. But I have noticed it is more work when the things that aren't so important in life start crowding out what really matters. That is what I want to see every day, so I can keep everything where it should be. I don't want to waste a moment on what doesn't matter. I know what I have, what we have, and what we are.
It was a simple thing. We were standing in the living room at camp; you showed me a hairbrush. You were excited because it was the first brush you found that was just like the old one you had, the one that worked just right. We all have things like that. For a split second, my brain said silently, "It's just a hairbrush!" But suddenly, I came to my senses. Your joy spun me around. Joy... When you love someone, you have to see this, acknowledge it, and yield to it. It doesn't matter what it is. It is in the joy that you feel. That always needs to be loved, protected, and rejoiced in.
It is the difference between a life well lived and one lamented upon. No matter the turbulence in the world, I never want to turn one of your smiles into a frown. Never exchanging your joy for pain. I want to remember all the happiest moments and do my best to make even more.
I feel I could never have become the person I already was inside if you had not shown me the way out. I like to think that happened for both of us. After 25 years, I know this for sure: you and me, we made each other complete.
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