Stand where you are, stand where you will be, change the planet, change reality. Developing film, that once was means nothing, and what once was tells more than it ever did.
I remember Avenue J, listening to Indian Girl. It had only been released five years earlier, and as usual, yeah, I was late to the party, but hey, I arrived, didn't I?
I find treasure in the notes and melodies today and I am defeated too how reality itself was brought to nothing and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Futility is rolling in like a fog we did not know was coming. It has always been there, but we just bounced along, taking it all in stride, earbuds in, lost in our own little scream.
I hear it clawing at the door, knowing that even though I have mourned the high times of days gone by, the loss I feel from all of it is constantly changing and never-ending.
There is a message coming through, and I strain to listen. Like someone tapping on a pipe that extends far into the past and into the future, I know that it is critical that I listen.
The conversations at the round table with my Grandfather are now constantly in focus. This is a type of understanding that I think I would rather not know, but I do not get a choice. Inside I slam my arrogant self against the cold cement wall headfirst, twisting my arm. With disgust, I whisper, "It is a privilege!"
The sun rises, and I look at the autumn fog wondering if the place I stand today is enough to have a clear view from here and there. I know it is there, like a cold front it can be anticipated. It comes no matter what. It just does.
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