There is a waste that I always lament. It is a cycle in which I cannot break free. It is there just as the seasons of the year are, and yet, it eludes me, taunting and mocking. Tied to my chair I watch the light rise out of the east sky and set on the west hill. Another day's lack of energy spent. Elle, I am trying to remember, but honestly friend, what does it take? It is no wonder society hides behind the fiction that ends on simple yet impossible resolutions. The goal of that is so much easier to achieve.
Photo by Megan Nixon on Unsplash
Right here and now, some things can be done that cannot be done later. Like a mantra, I need to know that. 謝九星, I know you know, it is like watching a spectacular crash in painful slow motion. You know where it goes and there is nothing you can do. I am too angry to settle for this, and my friend, I wish that you were too.
Every moment is an example. Last week I learned of the deaths of friends I knew long ago. 30-something years ago, they were very much a part of my life. They were fine people. They have been gone for some time now, and here today I remember them. Their lives seemed like warm summer days. That is how it is anyway, isn't it? I know I don't know much about how they had been in their last years, so I can only imagine.
That growling clock on the wall. It echoes throughout my life. It is more permanent than the persistent sound of the cicadas that sound off in my head every hour of the day and night. In the style of a drill sergeant, I want to stand before my meager self and scream in my face to just do more, just do something!
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, come on! It is happening. Just like that. Don't fall asleep. Don't you dare fall asleep!
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