Vulnerability

 I saw the writing on the surfaces of the streets. We were in the sun, free and exposed. The words that were written told me that this was temporary. It was almost time.

I saw her coming towards me in my million-mile view. It was almost time, or was that a hundred years ago?

As the sun set August 10th we closed the windows and could no longer could see outside. The hurricane bore down on us overnight, the airwaves promised to stay with us, faithfully not leaving us in the darkness. I was so impressed.

It makes me think of an old poem by Harold Hart Crane

Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

“Fear

The host, he says that all is well
And the fire-wood glow is bright;
The food has a warm and tempting smell,-
But on the window licks the night.

Pile on the logs... Give me your hands,
Friends! No,- it is not fright...
But hold me... somewhere I heard demands...
And on the window licks the night.”

I have always loved how in two stanzas, this “less is more” composition edifies the illusion of security for what it really is. 

It is like the fabric of a tent. Inside verses outside, when is there a difference at all? On Labor Day morning of 2004, I was woke by my wife in a tent in the middle of the mountains in Corinth Vermont. She told me that there were coyotes outside. As I listened, I realized they were on 3 sides of us, which takes being in the vicinity of coyotes to a completely new level. We were surrounded and they had a strategy. I got up, it was still dark. I lit a fire. Our van was right there so I found the BBC World Service on Vermont Public Radio and turned the sound of human voices up as loud as I could. The coyotes eventually retreated back into the woods. I can tell you, the nylon fabric of that tent wasn’t so big and bad when you wake up to that sound.

Vulnerability is a combination of hardening of shelter: walls, doors, windows and the like, and of illusion: sound, perception of power and ability and cover.

That brings me to the obvious equation, when it comes to the illusion of security, one of the tools to utilize is the illusion of defense. So, make believe protection? I have to stop, I could run forever on this thought!