Saturday, December 30, 2023

This is not what I expected

 In the final hours of the year twenty-twenty-three, I had thought that I might write something thoughtful. It would be deep yet be witty.  It would be thought provoking and sharp.  But when I arrived at the end of this year, I did not find that.  What I did find was unexpected, yet appropriate for the year 2023.

Instead of writing something new, I commented on something that I wrote here in January.  For many months, although the words were true, there was something that was not said and not only did this omission make things seem be a certain way, but it also weighed on me because credit was due, but I was not paying it.

It has made me realize that 2023 had a serious theme to it.  The theme was "finish the job". In 2023 that is what I did.  It started with the countless open projects that I never seemed to complete, and that is nothing new.  This pressure list was taking me through almost multiple identities and anxieties.  Then I found the object that seemed to be damming up the river.  I threw a stick of dynamite into the jam and rejoiced when the explosion sent obstructions flying and the flow of progress was started once again.

Today my sights are set on things I have never even considered before.  The words that are coming, I never thought I would write.  The life ahead I never thought I would live. None of the stories ahead could ever be without those that came before.  When I realize that the construction was always happening, I am stunned.

The sun is rising and I see what was my defeat, what was my control and what was my war.  I was never at the disadvantage that I believed I was, and that is alright with me.  A good life has to be filled with patience, because worth while progression is an investment.  

I suppose this is what you would call the eleventh hour, with only 24 hours left to a year that I charged into battle, fearful of what I might lose.  I also fell back, fearful of what I might gain.  It just goes to show you that there is so much more work to do.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Tangled heart

 I saw them.  Intertwined like as a single person.  Saying words that the rest of us cannot know.  Minds, thinking the same thoughts,  heart...